Contradiction

I have been in contradiction recently. The many goals I set at the beginning of the semester have not achieved. There are so many temptations in university that I always forgot what the most important things that I should do is.

During the period of economic recession, I should enrich myself with knowledge and have more completive power to compete against the people in same domain (software)even in different domain. The future makes me so nervous and cannot find the way I should go. I want to enjoin my school life. But I do not have ability to reach a perfect balance between amusement and studies obviously. I also want to do one thing. That is a secret to everyone. How I wish to reach the goal. But it seems an impossible mission to a person who sink into contradiction. Perhaps I think it too simple to reach at beginning. Moreover, I do not have the ability.

Now the limit time is more and closer, but I still remain unmoved. I begin to afraid that I cannot achieve to some people’s pledge. What I should do now? Do my best or give up? Should I test myself what kind of degree I am able to achieve or just stay in Chang Gung University to be a normal student? I lost in a forked road.